Festive Guilt : MindsetOpediaDMHC Blogs

Every year each community has festivals they strongly identify as periods of joy and holiday spirit reins in their cultural ecosystem. With the joy and fun comes the other side, Festive Guilt, I like to define it as that feeling you get when you feel pressured to buy, get bigger, and want more for the sake of “being in the Festive Spirit”.

I’ve noticed an increasing number of people that state they want festivals to be simple. They vow it’s not about presents or elaborate meals. They want to turn their focus on helping others and being thankful for the things they have, specially as Covid19 times have highlighted the essence of togetherness and family. Yet the vicious cycle of social image upkeeping and showing joy through the materialistic representation entraps everyone at some level. The over indulgence in gifting, socialising, eating and drinking leaves the individual asking “Why do I put myself through this?” In wanting to be seen and the fear of missing out , people feel guilty worrying that maybe they haven’t done “enough” for the festival.

The real truth is.. You can’t! At least in the recent two years most have found a way to avoid it. Just this morning I was talking with a friend who shared how they felt guilty that they weren’t doing Eid gifts this year. She didn’t have an Eid list. She didn’t have gobs of presents to wrap. Should She? She wondered!

All she highlighted in the conversation was the simplicity she wanted from Eid celebrations. In the need for simplicity much like many of us, the reminder comes across to be thankful for our blessings and comforted by the pleasures of “things”. There is nothing that we the privileged need in our celebrations but actually need to give back to the community. Each festival has a religiosity attached to it that celebrates giving to the underprivileged in the community and sharing with others as a tenant of celebrations.

Festive Guilt , thoug explores over indulgence in gifting , eating and drinking but if viewed differently to keep our thoughts on the love and thoughtfulness we are share through festive celebrations , guilt will turn into fullfillment.

This doesn’t come easy. Each day you would have to remind yourself of the goals for your festive season and evaluate whether you feel you as a family or even individual are accomplishing those goals or not though the following questions.

• What are the children focused on?

• If asked what do the children say the festival is all about?

• How are we celebrating the festival in a sustainable way?

• What do the festive traditions mean to you and how have you adapted them to your present lifestyle?

If you can’t answer them the way you want, you know its time to re-evaluate. If you can, then the festive guilt shrinks just a little.

My friend shared this anecdote with me as “festive guilt” caught me up in my own bubble which I believe has the answer to lessen it one festival at a time

The other day my friend’s son told her “Mom, I know what you want for Eid.”

She: “Oh really, Beta? What’s that according to you?” (nervous of his answer)

Love! You want love, Mom!

Love in a Box!

Please remember festivals are a time to honour the religious sentiments that form a part of our socio-cultural identity. Also adapt to the times while upholding the values and passing down the traditional ethos that connects the individual. The way they chose to identify with it and not stifling the individual with guilt of not doing or being enough.

Each festival is a celebration of the individual being enough and celebrating the collective in a connected and collaborative identity making festivals a coming together of communities and hearts.

By, Aarti Ahuja Psychologist

Council Member ( WICCI-DMHC ) Founder Tatava Connect LLP