Coping with clients displaying stubborn behaviour : MindsetOpediaDMHC Blogs

Coping with clients displaying stubborn behaviour

Archie Kohli

WICCI-DMHC, Council Member

Often, the term stubbornness is described as a personality trait, usually denoting to a negative quality showcasing negative emotions. Coping with such negative trait is a task, not only for the self, but for other around us as well. In therapy, psychologists encounter many clients that display stubborn behaviour—which needs to be dealt with in a careful manner. For this blog, I asked the question ‘How do therapists cope with clients displaying stubborn behaviour?’ from four different psychologists/psychiatrists and their answers draw meaningful insights —

Ms. Devyani, Counselling Psychologist

In my personal sessions, when I encounter a client who is being stubborn I try and listen to their perspective or reasoning primarily. Stubbornness can arise from lack of information and some unmet needs of client’s past. Working through that is important, but challenging as well. Yet, some critical steps can be taken with such clients —

1. Providing a safe space to the client and being patient with them is crucial for their growth. 

2. Giving them adequate information which they can dwell on is also helpful.

3. Insight from information-sharing can aid them to move past the stubbornness and become more flexible in their behaviour.

Dr. Ankita, MD Neuro-Paychiatry

I practise Motivational Enhancement Therapy (MET) for addiction, which teaches how to deal with patients who are invariably stubborn. I incorporate the basic principles of the same —

1. Express Empathy: Be an empathetic listener and reflect on client’s answers with slight but deliberate modifications. The modifications lets the client know that the therapist has heard and understood them. 

2. Develop Discrepancy: The therapist highlights the discrepancy between client’s desired state of being and the actual state. This discrepancy aids in recognizing how current behaviour hinders one from achieving goals, and even provide a strong incentive for behaviour change.

3. Avoid Argumentation: A therapist must avoid attacking the client or their  behaviour, as this is thought to result in defensiveness and resistance. 

4. Roll with resistance: Instead of directly confronting any resistance on part of the client, the therapist tries to defuse it, via reflective listening. This approach may seem counterintuitive, but it decreases the odds of further defensiveness.

5. Support self-efficacy: One aspect of a therapist's role is to help clients become aware of their ability to successfully undertake the actions needed for change.

Mrs. Kavita, Family Therapist & Parenting Coach

Stubbornness occurs due to fear of change, uncertainty of behaviour and situations, and high desire of control and power. Keep these points in mind while working with such clients —

1. The therapist must enter the session by first calming oneself by deep breathing, meditation, or positive self-affirmations.

2. Set boundaries for counselling sessions and communicate it assertively to the client and family (if required).

3. Be patient, empathize and psycho-educate wherever necessary.

4. Do not get into arguments, or confrontations.

5. You can only do what is in your control. Beyond that is client’s responsibility. 

6. Be in the asking mode rather than telling and have open, honest communication.

7. If required, terminate the sessions and reiterate the boundaries created.

Ms. Vrishti, Consultant Psychologist

Coping with stubborn clients is definitely challenging. The lack of awareness, insight, willingness or patience, may be some of the themes underlying their stubbornness. What helps me during such sessions is —

1. Explaining the nature of the therapy process at the beginning.

2. Letting clients know that therapy can be a slow process.

3. Explaining the role of their willingness and effort.

4. Explaining the value of change.

5. Setting necessary boundaries between the therapist and client can be really helpful in challenging the stubborn behavior.

6. Finally, giving enough time for rapport formation so the client may not hold on to stubbornness and be willing to consider required change.

Such insightful explanations aid a deeper understanding of how to conduct therapy sessions with clients who display stubborn behaviour.